You’re engaged, congratulations! You must be bursting with excitement. The newly engaged bubble is complete a dream come true.

Now, you might be thinking, okay, so what happens next?

Just to make sure that you’ve got it all covered, let’s dive right into everything you need to know about what to do when you get engaged.

I’m Nazlee, director of award-winning wedding venue Offley Place, where we’ve hosted hundreds of beautiful wedding days. I recently got married too, so I have all the insider secrets and top tips to share from both sides of the aisle.

Today we’ll go through the 9 things you need to do as soon as you get engaged, so that you can rest assured that you’ve got everything covered, and make the most of this truly magical time!

1. Take It All In

After getting engaged, it's important to take a moment to let everything sink in - you are now a fiancé! 

This is a really special time in your life, filled with excitement and anticipation for what's to come. As a newly engaged couple, there are probably a million things that you’d like to do after you get engaged, but my advice to you is to really cherish this phase and enjoy the journey together. 

Plan some time for just the two of you, whether it’s a dinner at your favourite restaurant or a weekend getaway. It’s really important to give yourselves time to enjoy this new stage, take in the big news and just be in your own little engaged bubble before getting back to the real world. 

Proposals abroad are gaining popularity lately, perhaps because the thrill of being away from the everyday routine adds an extra touch of magic to the moment.

Of course, it also provides the perfect opportunity to enjoy some private time and savour the experience. 

However, you can still recreate that same special feeling at home, by making an effort to slow down and make the moment truly memorable.

If possible, consider taking a weekend or a few days off work to spend quality time together – you won’t regret it!

2. Tell Friends and Family About Your Engagement in Your Own Time

When it comes to sharing the exciting news of your engagement with your family and friends, my advice is simple: do it on your own terms and in your own time. 

While the urge to immediately post a dazzling ring selfie on Instagram may be tempting, I’d gently advise you to pause and think about it first.

Take a moment to consider how you want to deliver this amazing news and who you’d like to share it with.

You might find that you actually want to tell a few special people yourselves, before you share the news with the whole world online.

You might wish to give special family members a call, or facetime your best friends and show off your new ring.

You could even plan a dinner or a brunch gathering if you want to tell a few people in person - there are so many ways to share the news and I’m sure your selected few will feel so touched that they’ve heard about your engagement from you personally before it goes online. 

If you want to tell friends and family yourselves, remind those that you speak to to keep the news to themselves as hard as it might be.

It sounds so silly and simple but if they don’t know that it’s important for you to tell your loved ones personally, they might beat you to it without even meaning to. 

I know that this is exactly what would happen in my own family because they love to share exciting news.

If you don’t immediately feel like sharing, that is absolutely fine too.

Even though I had a sneaky suspicion my husband was going to propose around the time that he did, it still really blew me away when the actual moment came.

I personally wanted to keep the news just between us and our inner circle for a little while. I really enjoyed those blissful few days and I was so excited to share the news with everyone else when we were ready. 

If this is you, I want you to feel completely comfortable taking your time. It might feel like there’s a lot of pressure to broadcast to the world immediately, but don’t forget, this is your special news and your love story - it should be on your terms. I would encourage you to keep the magic private for a little while, if that feels right for you.

If you’re watching this and you’re not yet engaged, you might not know which you’d prefer until you get to the moment itself and that’s absolutely fine too.

As much as I love planning, when it comes to things like this you really can’t plan how you’ll feel.  You just have to be present in the moment and take it as it comes.

3. Set Boundaries

Let’s talk about setting boundaries.

This is a great skill to learn because - spoiler alert - you’re going to need it all through the wedding planning process. So we might as well start strengthening the boundary-setting muscle right after your engagement.

As soon as you start sharing the news about your engagement, brace yourself for an avalanche, a flood, a tidal wave if you will - of wedding related questions from excited friends and family. 

This is very sweet but can also be very overwhelming. I have worked with so many couples who have felt incredibly stressed because they didn’t know the answers to the plethora of questions from the beginning, but this is completely normal.

Most people don’t know the answers straight away, so don’t feel pressured to start trying to figure things out the moment you get engaged.

Set boundaries with people and let them know that you’re taking your time to enjoy the engagement bubble before diving into the wedding planning. 

Resist the pressure of talking about the wedding if that feels premature at the moment. 

Planning a wedding is a big, exciting project but one that I’m sure you’ll like to take your time and choose each element of - it’s not something that you want to rush. 

Your engagement season is time for you and your partner to bask in the joy of being engaged without the stress of immediate wedding preparations. So as hard as it may be, don’t let anyone’s over-excited questions make you feel differently. 

4. Make No Promises

Now this may seem a little dramatic and perhaps it is a bit dramatic because I’ve not seen it anywhere else, but it is my genuine advice: 

Make. No. Promises. 

As soon as you get the ring on your finger you’re going to be buzzing with excitement and adrenaline but your wedding vision is still going to be pretty hazy. 

You most likely haven’t planned or secured anything yet, so as exciting as it might be to ask your friend to be your bridesmaid or to ask your aunt to do a reading, or to use a family member’s ‘something borrowed’ or song choice - I’d suggest you don’t.

Give yourself some time in the following months to figure out the wedding puzzle, exactly how you’d like it to be, and how you’re going to make it happen before making any promises to anyone.

Things inevitably change over time and usually your wedding planning is going to span a period of months to years. The more you expose yourself to different options, you may find that you’re drawn to different ideas entirely and it is really, really difficult to take something back once you’ve offered it to someone.

Your loved ones will be just as touched and flattered any time you ask them to be a part of your celebration, and by taking a bit of extra time, you can plan something intimate and special for that.

So just take in and enjoy this moment for what it is, knowing that there will be so many more things to celebrate along the wedding planning journey as well.

5. Adjust Your Ring Size

Ring size adjustment is a practical but important task to remember when you get engaged.

As obsessed as you may be with your new ring, if it’s not 100% the right fit, you’ll have to get it resized - no matter how hard parting with it is going to be.

Your partner has most likely chosen a really exquisite engagement ring, putting thought and care into choosing a truly meaningful piece.

The last thing you would want is for it to fall off your finger, or not to be able to get it on comfortably. That is why ring resizing should be one of your first considerations if the fit isn’t quite right.

First, you’ll need to work out if your ring actually needs resizing.

Did you know, your fingers may actually swell with all excitement? (Totally normal, no judgement over here).

The weather also affects your finger size, with warmer weather generally making your fingers swell and colder weather making your fingers contract. 

If you’re not sure whether your ring needs resizing, wait for a few days to see how it feels - it may well be that your ring is the perfect size after all.  

If you do need your engagement ring resized, you will want to make sure you’re taking your ring to a reputable jeweller.

It’s a good idea to go to the one that the ring was purchased from if you can, but most good jewellers should be able to resize it for you. So if there’s a reputable one that’s local - feel free to go with them. 

Let your jeweller know about the kind of fit you are looking for - ideally not too tight and not too loose. You’ll want to adjust the size to suit you, whilst maintaining the integrity of your previous piece.

6. Get a Manicure

Perhaps you had a sneaky suspicion that you were going to be proposed to and managed to get a quick manicure beforehand, well done you!

But if the proposal has completely taken you by surprise you might want to consider getting a manicure in the days after your proposal.

If this isn’t for you, feel free to skip this step, and if you’re not a manicure lover, then it doesn’t need to be a manicure specifically, but just some time to do what you need to do to make sure your hands look and feel their best, as you’re going to be showing your ring off to a lot of people in the upcoming weeks.

When it comes to choosing a manicure, I have worked with lots of brides who have immediately gotten their nails done in a nude or neutral shade because they thought  it was the most ‘bridal.’ 

Just because something may be more conventionally ‘bridal’ - doesn’t mean that it’s ‘you.’ When you get engaged, you don’t automatically stop being you. 

That’s not to say that you can’t do something different, but I’m giving you permission to do your own version of ‘bridal’ -  whatever makes you feel the most special and comfortable. 

Some of the brides I’ve worked with that initially rushed to get their nails done in nude shades, shortly changed it back to the colours that they were used to because they just didn’t love the neutral shades on themselves.

So if you love dark nails, bright red or even quirky nail art, choose whatever makes you feel your best. 

This goes for the rest of the wedding planning process too - it all needs to be reflective of you as a couple, starting with the small decisions. 

 

7. Engagement Photo Shoot

An engagement photo shoot can be such an exciting part of your engagement, and if it’s something that you’d like, now is the time to book one in. 

This is the perfect chance to have stunning professional photos taken of you as an engaged couple. These photos can be taken in any location you choose, and with any sort of feel - you can be as creative as you’d like. 

You can have them in the same place that you had your proposal (this is what we did), or somewhere completely different. Couples often opt for a street shoot, which can also have a very cool effect.

You can be dressed up or dressed down, there really are no rules. Just make sure you feel comfortable and ‘you.’ 

If you want to save the white dresses for the wedding, you can have fun with different colours - I’ve seen stunning shoots where the bride and groom are both in black for example. If you do want to wear white, you might want to try something a little more ‘casual.’ I chose to wear a white dress, but opted for one that wasn’t very bridal.

The photos from your engagement shoot are great to use on your wedding invitations and website, not to mention just having them displayed around your house - capturing your love in this magical stage of your lives.

The photographer you choose will have a lot of say over the style of the shoot too, so choose someone who suits what you desire. You could opt for someone more formal, or more quirky, or anything in between.

If you have an idea of who you would like as your wedding photographer (perhaps you’re a Type A planner girlie like me) this is a great chance to spend some time with your chosen photographer, getting more comfortable with how they work. 

If you haven’t started choosing your photographer yet, don’t worry. Choose someone whose style you like - this will still give you an amazing opportunity to experience posing in front of the camera as a couple. We had a different photographer for our engagement photo shoot than our wedding itself and we really love having the two different styles of photographs.  

Ps. I promise you, it’s not as scary as it sounds!

8. Engagement Party

Now you’ve shared the news of your engagement, your nails are looking great and your ring is shining and perfectly fitting.

The last thing to consider on your engagement to-do list is throwing an engagement party. 

An engagement party isn’t just a celebration - it is the perfect opportunity to share the joy of your big news with your nearest and dearest. It’s also the perfect occasion to introduce both sides of the family to each other properly. 

You probably know your other half’s immediate family well by now, but one of our favourite parts of our engagement party was seeing our larger family meet and get to know each other - it made everyone far more excited for the wedding. 

An engagement party is the perfect setting for you to soak in all the well wishes and congratulations in a more intimate setting before the whirlwind of wedding planning begins. 

It doesn’t have to be a big or formal affair, it can be something small and relaxed - whatever would feel most special to you. 

Whether you opt for something casual or grand, it will take a bit of planning. But don’t be put off, just consider this a warm up to the main event. 

When it came to our engagement party, celebrating with all our friends and family was such a precious memory, and an incredible way to start the wedding planning season. 

9. Post Engagement Self-Care

Engagements can be overwhelming, with the expectations and excitement surrounding them. 

It is a big change and even getting used to being a ‘fiancée’ and having a ‘fiancé’ is an adjustment for most of us.

If changes can be stressful for you, give yourself some time to get used to things. It doesn’t mean that you’re not excited or happy, you might just be a little bit overwhelmed which is totally normal.

Make sure you’re looking after yourself and practising self care.

That can include:

• Practicing mindfulness
• Gratitude
• Meditation
• Going for walks
• Journaling
• Anything that brings you joy and makes you feel centred.

A sprinkle of self care is like magic for the soul. 

It would be ideal if you could share some of these activities with your partner. Whether it’s a spa day for two or a cosy night in, make it a priority and schedule it in regularly. This will keep you connected and refreshed throughout the wedding planning process.

Now as for the wedding planning itself you may have noticed that it wasn’t a feature in this blog at all - and it’s because for me, wedding planning is a completely separate journey of its own. 

I want to make sure that you fully take in and enjoy your engagement before you move onto the next stage. 

I promise you can still have a fabulous wedding and start planning it a little while after your engagement to give you some time.