You’re ready to take the plunge and buy an engagement ring for your other half - congratulations!
Or perhaps you and your partner have made the decision together, and you are looking for that perfect engagement ring for you.
You’ve found yourself scrolling and browsing rings and questioning which one is right… How do you even begin?
→ Does it need to be a diamond?
→ Which cut should you go for?
→ White or yellow gold?
With so many different things to take into consideration, and so many choices to make, you might be at that point where you’re thinking, where do I start?
I’m here to help.
I’m Nazlee, the director of award-winning wedding venue Offley Place, in Hertfordshire, where we host hundreds of beautiful weddings.
I tied the knot with my wonderful husband in 2023, so I can share my insider secrets from both sides of the aisle. My speciality is creating a curated wedding experience - that means taking every little detail into account and tailoring it to you and your partner.
And it all starts with choosing the perfect engagement ring.
It’s no exaggeration to say that I’ve seen hundreds of rings in my time, and talked to a huge number of brides about what made their engagement ring truly unique and special.
Here are all of my top tips to help you get clear on finding the perfect engagement ring.
First thing’s first - as special and meaningful as surprise proposals are, they’re not by any means the only way.
So if you know that your partner would love to be involved in choosing their engagement ring, that’s absolutely fine too.
After all, their ring will be on their hand forever, so it’s important that they love it.
Engagement Ring Inspiration
Myself and my fiancé knew that we wanted to choose my engagement ring together for this reason.
We started off by creating a shared Pinterest board, where over time I started pinning photos of the rings I absolutely loved, and together we reviewed them to find any themes or commonalities between the different images.
If you’ll be choosing an engagement ring without the help of your partner, take a look at the jewellery that they already wear.
Notice:
- If they usually go for gold rather than silver.
- If there are certain colours or stones they wear more often than others.
- What is the theme of the jewellery they wear? Is it more minimal and elegant, or fun and quirky?
You might even want to start casually talking about jewellery, asking what they prefer, to get a sense of what direction to go in.
Once you have a little bit more information, you can type keywords into Pinterest and start to browse ideas.
If you’re choosing alongside your partner, and you’ve always known what kind of ring you’re looking for, I’d still recommend browsing what’s out there just to make sure.
You never know what surprise jewellery might pique your interest.
How much should you spend on an engagement ring?
This is a question on a lot of people's minds when choosing an engagement ring. And there really isn't a correct answer.
The amount you should spend on an engagement ring for your partner is such a personal question.
There are so many factors that are going to influence the cost of your engagement ring, such as the size of the stone, the cut, colour, clarity, carat weight and the metal that you choose.
When taking your price point into consideration, it's important to remember that this is a ring that your partner will be wearing for the rest of their life and admiring for years to come. So ideally it will be good quality.
Ultimately though the price of your engagement ring should be one that's comfortable for you. Please do not break the bank getting engaged - we've got a lot more to come afterwards!
Engagement ring gemstones
Once you’ve got some ideas of potential shapes and styles, it’s time to start thinking about the gemstone that will be on the engagement ring.
No, not everyone has a diamond!
One of the most important factors to take into account is the hardness of the gemstone.
You will need to choose a gemstone that's on the hardest side of the Mohs scale of mineral hardness. This is because everyday contact is going to chip and scratch a softer gemstone, causing a lot of damage over time.
With a piece of jewellery that you're going to be wearing the majority of the time for the rest of your life this is a very important thing to take into consideration.
Diamonds are the hardest gemstone and this is one of the reasons why they're generally chosen for engagement rings. A diamond measures 10 on the Mohs scale of mineral hardness.
However, if you're interested in other gemstones definitely do not be put off. A simple search of your preferred gemstone’s Mohs scale will give you a rough idea of where it falls.
Typically the divide between a soft stone and a hard stone falls around the number 7. So if your gemstone is above a 7 on the Mohs scale, then it's a good option.
But if it falls below a 7, I would suggest having a look at other options. Something that looks similar but ranks higher on the scale will stay in perfect condition for a lot longer.
Some of my favourite engagement ring gemstones are rubies and sapphires. These come in most colours by the way, not just red and blue. Both of these stones ranked 9 on the Mohs scale and can be worn every day.
If you’ve fallen in love with a softer gemstone, don't be dissuaded. These can still make a great choice for engagement rings. My suggestion would be to choose a designer who really knows their stones, so that they can design a ring in the best way to protect the stone.
Personally I chose a coloured gemstone for my engagement ring. My ring is an aquamarine, with white and black diamonds around it. I absolutely love it.
The maintenance might take a little more TLC, but for me it was worth it!
The Cut of Your Gemstone
Once you have an idea of the kind of stone you prefer, you can start to think about the cut and shape of your engagement ring.
Some of the most common shapes are the round brilliant cut, princess cut - which is a square, emerald cut - which is rectangular, oval, pear-shaped and cushion-shaped.
However you can actually get all sorts of different cuts of stone, even heart-shaped.
This is where you really need to think about how the ring will suit your partner's finger (or your finger, if you’re choosing for yourself).
For longer fingers, then a longer stone like an emerald cut, marquise shape or oval would look most flattering. For fingers on the shorter side, a round solitaire, princess cut or a trilogy cut with three stones would be better suited.
Of course your partner's personality is going to play a huge part in choosing this, And is something you'll need to take into consideration too.
A well-cut stone will really let the light shine through, giving the engagement ring that signature sparkly look. If the stone isn’t properly cut however, you won't get the same effect.
Your Engagement Ring Metal
It's time to start thinking about which metal to choose for your engagement ring.
Usually the main options are platinum, white gold, yellow gold, or rose gold.
Platinum is a good choice, because it's a very hard metal which will keep its white colour, giving you a lot of longevity.
If you feel as though gold is the right choice for your engagement ring, you'll need to start thinking of which carat you want to choose.
18 carat gold is the ideal. Anything higher than that will be too soft for a ring that's worn every day but anything below that will be less than 50% gold.
That's why it's best to aim for 18 carat, as it means more than 50% of the band will be made from gold.
Generally speaking, silver rings are not recommended for engagement rings. This is because silver is a very soft metal which means it's not ideal for everyday wear, especially if it's holding a gemstone that is special to you.
Engagement Ring Setting
Now this is where things get slightly trickier and you may want to enlist the help of a jeweller. It's time to pay attention to the way the stones have been set in the ring.
Commonly the main stone setting for engagement rings is a claw setting. This is a very secure setting which allows a lot of light to come through to the stone, giving it that really sparkly engagement ring look.
Another option you might want to consider is a bezel setting, which is where the metal goes all the way around the outside of the stone.
This ensures that your stone is extremely protected, but will have a slight impact on how much light shines through it. However it is another very beautiful setting that many brides love.
In general people usually prefer to have as little metal as possible around the stone on an engagement ring. But your engagement ring is going to be worn every single day, so you do need to make sure that the setting is very protective of the stone. Particularly if you've chosen a coloured gemstone.
Our ring designer enclosed my aquamarine stone in a claw setting so it's fully protected and I can wear it all the time without worrying.
Visiting a Jewellers
At this stage in the process, you should have a fairly good idea of what kind of engagement ring you're looking for.
It's time to visit a jeweller.
If you're looking for something very specific, it's important to look at the jeweller’s website or call ahead to make sure that they have exactly what you're looking for.
Some jewellers will be open for you to drop in any time, but others will ask for you to make an appointment in advance. Be mindful of this when planning as you don't want to waste a journey.
If you're both involved in the ring choosing process then trying on the rings in person can be a really exciting and special experience to share with your partner.
But if you're going alone it can still be a really enjoyable day, just bring an open mind and see what’s out there.
One of the best decisions we made was to visit a few different independent jewellers who stocked several different designers. This way I got to try on a lot of different styles in one go and really got a feel for what I liked and what suited me.
When you’re with your jeweller, don't be afraid to tell them exactly what you like and don't like and what you're looking for. That way they can bring you a selection and help you find the perfect ring.
My advice is to push yourself outside of your comfort zone here.
The ring I ended up choosing was actually one that the jeweller chose for me, and one I definitely don't think I would have chosen to try on my own, but I fell in love with it.
And of course don't be afraid to try them on your right hand if you don’t want to have anything on your ring finger until the big day!
Insider tip: Take photos of the rings you try on, but also take videos where you're moving your hand so you can see how it sits on your finger at different angles and how the gemstone sparkles in the light.
As well as looking down at the ring from your own perspective, also ask if there's a mirror so you can see your hand the other way as well.
When to Buy Your Engagement Ring
How long will it take to make your perfect engagement ring? This really depends on what you choose.
If you want to get engaged very soon, or you're on some kind of time constraint I would suggest using something that the jeweller already has in stock, so that it can be quickly sized and ready for the special event.
However if you're looking for a more bespoke piece, designed either by a jeweller or even by you, then you might need to wait weeks or even months for your ring, so this is something you should bear in mind.
Choosing the Wedding Band
When you have an idea of the ring that you like, ask your jeweller how it will fit with a wedding band and look at some options. Even if your wedding is a long way off, it's good to get an idea of this now.
If the engagement ring is a halo style, or a slightly unusual shape, the wedding band might have to be made for it specifically.
Some wedding bands actually need to have a section carved out of them as well, which might impact your decision making on the engagement ring.
Now is the time to think about whether you want to add any stones into the wedding band. This will have an effect on the aesthetic of the engagement ring, so it's important to consider.
You might choose to go for a more classic solitaire engagement ring, and then add some extra interest with a more decorative wedding band.
Insider tip: Try to keep your wedding band in the same type of metal as your engagement ring, otherwise different types of metal can rub against each other and cause damage.
Looking After Your Engagement Ring
An engagement ring is supposed to be on your finger for the rest of your life, so don't be afraid to ask your jeweller the serious questions and get a good sense of the guarantee before you buy.
The questions you should ask:
- What happens if the stone falls out?
- What happens if their finger changes in size?
- If a stone becomes loose will they tighten the setting for you?
All of these are very important to know, because your engagement ring is a big investment and you want to feel confident in knowing exactly what each jeweller will offer you in terms of maintenance.
With these tips, I have no doubt that you're going to find a ring that is absolutely perfect for your proposal.
I still remember how much I loved going through the process of choosing my own ring, and on the day of my engagement I was so excited to look down and see the ring that I absolutely loved.
Still feeling a little bit overwhelmed?
I've created the ultimate engagement ring guide for you to make sure you don’t miss a thing when choosing the perfect ring.
